


Lyrics of a Nightmare

by AliasAnonymous



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Stucky - Fandom, Twenty One Pilots, the winter soldier - Fandom
Genre: Based on the song Run and Go by twenty one pilots, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky doesn't want to share his demons just yet, Bucky has a lot of nightmares, Captain America - Freeform, Fear, M/M, Nightmares, Panic, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Steve Rogers, Run and Go, Steve wants to help, Zola is being a bitch and tortures Bucky in his sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 19:54:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5598784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliasAnonymous/pseuds/AliasAnonymous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haunted by his past Bucky has been blocking it out during his waking hours but in his sleep he is defenseless. Always and without fail the horrors visit him making him thrash and scream out in his sleep. And without fail Steve is always by his best friends side waking him up, comforting him, reminding him the monsters are gone, but Bucky fears more then the monsters in his dreams, he fears the monster he believes he has become.</p><p>Based around the lyrics Run and Go by Twenty-One Pilots.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lyrics of a Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> Given this prompt: "Steve and Bucky, the Run and Go please." on my imagine-stucky blog I help admin, it's by that name so if you want to send in requests go ahead, I really enjoyed making this and hope you enjoy it too.  
> Comments and Kudos are as always very welcome and always appreciated.
> 
> Anyway enjoy!xx

I can't take them on my own, 

my own,

Oh, I'm not the one you know,

you know,

I have killed a man and all I know is I am on the Run and Go...

 

Bucky was running. The monsters were closing in. He could feel their freezing breath send shivers down his spine. Their cold, harsh touch. Long, claw-like fingers reached out from the shadows to grab him, trip him as he ran away.

Panting, trembling he pushed himself harder, sprinting faster then he ever had before. 

There was an alley to his left. 

Skidding Bucky turned and ran down it, and came up somewhere along Boulevard. 

The colourful, bright, flashing lights that were waiting to greet him were beginning to melt. Dripping like wax they slid from the buildings around him and dropped dull and limp into pools of glistening grey at the foot of their building. Horror coursed through him, life was being sucked from everything around him. 

The people littered up and down the street above and below him began dropping with harsh thuds to the solid ground below their feet. Their deaths were so sudden that none of them knew they were dead till they had hit the ground. There were no cries of anguish as a loved one died in front of them, no pleas for mercy as they realized there death was next, no scream of pain, no fear as they too joined the dead. 

Death came to them swift. 

Efficient.

"Necessary."He heard a high voice whisper in his ear. 

Bucky jerked away, spinning round he searched the shadows for the monster. Unsurprisingly no one was there, but he knew that voice! Had known it as clearly as he had known day from night. Had heard it a million times. 

Pain. pain, Bucky remembered shuddering, came next. Pain always followed that voice.

"The monsters are here!", he tried to yell out, focusing back on the people still around him, but the words wouldn't come out, it was as if a steel vice had clamped around his throat blocking the words from escaping. He wanted to cry in frustration as he watched helpless as the people, the innocents, all died. 

Yet something drew his attention up. Looking up he saw something, someone? A figure. Whoever it was Bucky was familiar with how their body moved, but they were so far up, the building was so tall and Bucky was so small he couldn't see who it was! Frustrated Bucky strained to see who it was and suddenly the image of the figure was magnified tenfold. Cold fear fell over Bucky. 

It was Steve. 

Steve was at the top of the building, and he was precariously close to the edge.

"STEVE!" Bucky roared.

"He can not hear you." A voice muttered behind him. That voice. 

Making his face expressionless Bucky turned around to face him. Zola.

His English was good but Bucky could hear through it, hear that German lilt and roll of his pronunciation. Bucky was so accustomed to that voice, that no amount of freezing or time will ever erase it from his ears.

"I'm Swiss actually." Zola said nonchalantly. Bucky didn't know what to do, his memory told him that he should cringe in fear or offer his weapon to Zola to avoid the excruciating pain that followed this monsters wake but his mind told him that Zola wasn't real. This wasn't real.

"It's quite real. All of this." Zola looked around almost sadly, 

"I'm real, you're real, you're friend up there-" said Zola pointing up, "He's quite real. The pain you feel, the fear, all that turmoil all that suffering, is all very real."

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" Bucky yelled clasping his hands over his ears like a child who didn't want to hear what his parents had to tell him, cause like a child he knew this was bad. 

"Hmm." Zola nodded, "I agree, this is all very bad."

Bucky backed away from Zola, backed up till his back hit the wall of Steve's building.

"You shouldn't have done that." Zola whispered, a wicked grin split his thin lips and he folded his arms behind his back and began to take a few steps backwards, "You really-"

Bucky heard a crack.

"Should not have done that."

Bucky turned around, dropping his hands from his head he stared in confusion as a crack grew along the wall. The crack deepened, becoming a large split as if the bricks were splintering to allow the hole to spread and move. The grinding of stone and rumble of the now moving ground resounded as the split widened and climbed. Bucky leaped back as the earth below his feet shifted. 

"What the..." Bucky stared as the crack grew and split up the building wall.

STEVE! Bucky remembered jerking his head up he craned his neck to see his best friend trying to remain balanced as the building beneath him shifted and broke beneath his feet.

"STEVE!" Bucky roared, he couldn't stand there and do nothing but he felt powerless to what he could do. Scanning the building he saw that it had no doors nor any windows. Grabbing Zola who had been watching the crumbling building with mild concern he lifted him by his pristine white collar,

"Stop this!" Bucky was so angry that spittle hit the scientists' glasses,

"I am as helpless to stop this as you are Mr.Barnes." Zola laughed, "One of you must fall!"

"Then let it be me!" Bucky begged not caring for the consequences, he shook the scientist roughly making his glasses fall off and suddenly he was no longer gripping Zola's collar but the hard crevices of the side of a wall. The wall rocked and bucked and Bucky realized that he was on the building as it began collapsing. Looking around him wildly he couldn't spot Steve, looking down Bucky saw him standing beside Zola watching untroubled as his friend struggled to keep his grip on the crumbling building.

Crack. 

Bucky's grip loosened. 

Snap. 

Bucky was only holding on by one hand. 

Crash. 

Bucky was falling.

"Bucky! Bucky!"

Someone was calling his name, shaking him. Suddenly awake Bucky sat up gasping. Panting, Bucky gulped in air as he rapidly took in his surroundings. His heart was thudding, it felt like every beat was a horse kicking his chest. Strong arms wrapped around his bare chest, jerking away Bucky snapped his head around. Steve.

"Steve!" Bucky gasped, taking in the sight of his best friend sitting on the edge of his bed. Safe. Healthy. Safe.

"Hey Buck, it's me. You were having a nightmare. You, you were shouting and towards the end you were yelling my name. I couldn't let you stay asleep." Steve said. His eyes looked sad, Bucky noticed, and tired, had he woken him up? Guilt washed through Bucky. He hadn't meant to wake Steve up.

"Sorry." Bucky said, rubbing his face. No way he could get back to sleep now, and looking at his watch he saw that there was no point trying, he'd be up in a couple hours anyway to get to the gym before the muscle enthusiasts got there and took all the machines.

 

Don't wanna call you in the nighttime,

Don't wanna give you all my pieces,

Don't wanna hand you all my troubles,

Don't wanna give you all my demons,

 

You'll have to watch me struggle,

From several rooms away,

But tonight I'll need you to stay.

"STEVE!" Bucky shouted, the harsh Russian winter winds whipped his body as he was sent flying.

Flying.

Falling.

"Bucky! Bucky, come on! Wake up!" 

Steve.

Bucky heard Steve's voice pleading in his ear, but that can't be, Steve is on the train, he can't be here it's not safe!

"Steve!" Bucky shouted sitting upright and scrambling to stand up but he was tangled in his bed sheets and their constricting grip only heightened his confusion and panic.

"It's okay buddy. I got you." Steve said stepping forward to Bucky, trying to calm him and hold him still. He had jumped back as his friend sprung up out of his sleep to avoid Bucky accidentally hitting him if he awoke confused and thought Steve was trying to hurt him, but seeing him panicking and confused as he struggled to get out of the covers he had somehow wrapped himself in as he tossed and turned in his sleep Steve stepped forward uncaring if he got hurt trying to help Bucky.

Holding him steady Steve helped untwist the sheets and unwrap Bucky's legs from the twisted figure-eight he had trapped himself in. He felt Bucky's eyes follow his every move and when he met Buckys gaze he felt his cheeks betray him as they grew hot under Bucky's fervent stare. Steve dropped his gaze and Bucky stopped, instead he looked frantically around the room, what he searched for Steve didn't know but he watched as after Bucky didn't find anything he closed his eyes breathing deeply.

"I didn't mean to wake you up." Bucky said sitting back down on the bed. This was weird Steve thought, one moment Bucky was looking at him so raw that Steve wondered if he could see his soul and the next Bucky wouldn't even meet his eyes. His tone was emotionless as he apologized too, what was going on?

"Buck, if you want to talk-"

"No!" Bucky snapped, then flinched at the sharpness of his own words, 

"But Buck, if you're nightmares won't stop-"

Again he was interrupted, "I'm fine Steve! Just, please, leave it, please." If Bucky had said that to anyone else it would have sounded emotionless but Steve knew him. Had known him since they were children and he could tell that that was his friend's version of a whimper.

"You don't need to be ashamed Buck, I used to get them a lot, still do! After the battle in New York, when I awoke from the ice, for weeks after you fell." Steve had finished his sentence but now looking at his best friend he wished he had been interrupted. The other man's eyes were closed and a small tear escaped his left eye and streamed down his cheek, dropping off his stubbled chin. He had shuddered when Steve mentioned ice and again, more violently, when Steve had spoke of his fall. Bucky never talked about his nightmares but if Steve were to guess, by the way Bucky was acting now, his fall had a major roll in what terrorized his sleep.

"Bucky please let me help you."

Bucky shook his head, he wiped his face roughly and looked away from Steve opening his eyes.

"I can't keep watching you struggle, you're gonna have to let me in." Steve could hear the plea in his voice and only hoped it was as obvious to Bucky.

Bucky snorted, another tear leaked but he caught it midway down his unshaven cheek and wiped it off.

"I have killed people Steve." Bucky wasn't speaking emotionless now, and he didn't bother to try and keep his voice steady. Now Steve could hear every crack and hitch in his words.

"I have killed a lot of people.." Bucky hit his bare thigh, he grunted with the pain that it caused, he did it again, harder, but didn't grunt this time. Steve was suddenly uncomfortably aware of his friends lack of clothing, only a t-shirt and boxers, but he was more aware of the pain and turmoil his friend was really in and that was what he concentrated on, uncaring for his friends lack of clothing.

"I heard their screams, their pleas and that didn't bother me. Their crying didn't bother me!" He was shouting now and he didn't care, "I-I was the monster government organisations feared, good and bad! I was the monster in their nightmares and, and..." Bucky sobbed,"You want to help me?"

He had brought his legs up, wrapping his arms around his knees and tucking his head in. Steve was sitting beside him hugging him close to his side before the first sob wracked his friend's body.

"S-so much blood!" Bucky cried uncurling his body and gripping onto Steve, his grip would be bruising to a normal human but Steve barely felt it.

"You were being tortured."

"I-It was so cold, I-I was always so cold."

"Shush." Steve hushed, his lips to Bucky's ear, "They can't get you now." Bucky shuddered beside him.

"I should have killed myself, crawled off that edge on that cliff before they found me. Shudda killed myself the first time they gave me a gun..."

"Hey!" Steve snapped, the harshness of his voice made Bucky recoil back but Steve caught his shoulders and gave him a gentle shake.

"Firstly, you were suffering from shock, from the extreme pain and extreme blood loss, you probably had severe hypothermia and were definitely suffering from the sudden loss of a limb by the time they found you. Your thought process and understanding of what was going on around you was most likely majorly impaired, if you didn't understand the enemy had you weeks after their capture of you there is now way in all of hell you could have thought to crawl to a more certain death by falling off the edge you were already lying on. So don't blame yourself for not thinking of that. Secondly, and please Bucky pay attention to this, YOU WERE BEING TORTURED! You were forced through major mental-reconditioning, or whatever fancy term they have for it, you were nearly constantly in cryo-freeze and brainwashed! And when you were previously captured if you have forgotten already, YOU WERE EXPERIMENTED ON! After all you've been through, all that shit, it is amazing you were able to remember who you were, who I was and come back to being to good guy you always were before Zola and before the Winter Soldier Program.You believed what you were doing was right." Rant over Steve pulled Bucky in and hugged him tight.

"Steve?" Bucky whispered into his shoulder,

"Yeah?"

"Can, can you stay in my room tonight?"

Steve hugged tighter before releasing Bucky, Bucky was avoiding his gaze but Steve lifted his chin, forcing him to look him in the eye, "Tonight and every night after if you need me to."

Bucky nodded shyly and Steve grinned, "We can build forts, just like when we were kids. Put the couch cushions on the floor?"

"Bucky laughed, "Jeez pal." He chuckled, "I'm not that fragile." He grinned,

"You know I'm with ya, till-

"The end of the line." Bucky finished, nodding.


End file.
